Coming Out Party

Our church recently hosted a coming out party for Carolina. We had such a great time! My mother had bought Carolina this lovely dress and sort of insinuated that I ought to use it for the party. I didn't need much convincing though - she's gorgeous in it.


My friend Casey has a friend who does cakes, and she had this beautiful one made. After I made a cake for another friend who was having a baby shower, I now know the pain and time involved in something this large. This cake was really delicious and after eating on it for a week, I can honestly say it was really moist. The icing even had a hint of almond flavor to it. Yum yum.


Our neighbor came and loved on Sam for a long time too. Another friend made Sam the largest fruit salad plate I have ever seen and he finished it in about five minutes. This boy loves his fruit.

Some other friends of ours who came must have realized heard through the grapevine that Carolina loves balls. This one was the largest ball she's ever seen and she immediately latched onto it. She plays with it every single day. Oh, and if you look closely, you can see Angelina Ballerina in the form of a tattoo on her arm (I've never seen the show!). We had a nice visit to Tweetsie the day before the party. Those tattoos take forever to get off!


I am not sure what Sam was up to here, but I can see our friends watching him closely. I thought this was a very funny pictures depicting his normal comings and goings. He's always got admirers, but some of them are a bit more suspicious than others!


They had set up a little rocking chair for Carolina and a big one for me. But, of course, the kids were all over the place, so we just sat on the floor eventually. Carolina got so many goodies! I just went through a lot of them today and cannot believe how long she is set for. In this photo, she's getting her very first baby doll. I bought her a baby doll stroller yesterday and she's been pushing it around with her doll since we opened it up. She's still unsure of how to handle a baby doll, but at least she knows she can hug it.

I always save the best for last. I love this photo. Sam just loved that Carolina was stuck up on the log and he enjoyed hugging and kissing her after sliding. It took a bit of coaxing at first, but after a bit, he was on board.

Every day is a better day than the last with these two. I can't imagine how good it is going to get, actually. Of course, we have days where we regress, but for the most part, we're a happy family. Just today when we got home from eating lunch with Bill, I caught Sam helping Carolina take her shoes off. It was such a sweet moment that I wish I could have caught it on film.

On a distinctly sadder note, we took a trip to Greensboro yesterday to see Sam's cardiologist. We learned that the miracle we had been praying for happened - the number on his lead went up from 2.3 to 4 (not sad, right?).

However, the number needed to be 5 or above for our cardiologist to feel comfortable with skipping the surgery. In the almost two years that Sam has had his defibrillator, that number has steadily been going down - so for it to have gone up is a real wonder. But, we are heading into cold and flu season and Sam's cardiologist wants him to be completely protected in case he gets a high fever this Fall or Winter and if that number is too low, his defibrillator could possibly miss an arrhythmia.

His doctor is planning on speaking to a Medtronics representative as well as his surgeon, but unless they feel otherwise, the surgery is still planned for August 18th. It's highly unlikely anything will change, but we are still hoping for a miracle. You can join us in praying.

Evaluation Update

Wow, great comments in that last post!! Thanks to everyone who gave suggestions and ideas to help Carolina eat. I will definitely try many of them. Imola, I loved your idea of giving her really well-cooked foods.

Since I last wrote my post, I have introduced tofu to Carolina and though she wasn't especially thrilled to eat it, she did eat all that I gave her. I also tried beans, but, alas, that was a no-go.

Her evaluation went well - there was a psychologist, a nutritionist and a woman who is trained in a few things, I believe.

Here's the general idea of where Carolina stands, though I'll have many more details later today:

Gross motor skills - 17 month-level
Fine motor skills - 14 month-level
Speech - 10 month-level

At 2:30 this afternoon I have another appointment where we will discuss our options and choose a plan of "attack" to get this girl on the right road.

Keep the suggestions coming! I think it's a very positive step that in the almost six weeks that we've had Carolina, she now eats Cheerios, eggs and tofu, whereas before she would only eat jarred pureed baby food. Progress is progress, right?

Oh, and we finally determined why Carolina pulls her tongue back when she has food or a bottle in her mouth. The general consensus is that she likely had to pull it back when she was given her bottle of porridge (with the nipple cut off) to protect her airway while laying down. As my friend Tracie pointed out in the comments, swallowing and eating really is a learned thing. Bad habits die hard.

Tomorrow's the Day

***UPDATED***
Just wanted to add (in addition to the comment I wrote in response to Joanna's) that we ARE offering Carolina solid, hard foods (okay for a child with no molars to eat). But, she is rejecting all of them. She spits them out constantly. With every meal, I offer her something hard/solid to eat. So far, she will only eat pureed and mashed up foods. She won't even eat ice cream though.

Original post follows:

The CDSA (Early Intervention) has a team of folks coming out tomorrow morning at 10am. I am so excited to see how their evaluation of Carolina goes. We scheduled it during a snack time, so the nutritionist can watch her eat.

I have talked with a few of you over the last week about my feelings on Carolina's eating troubles, but let me just put it down in words for everyone to read. You see, if you're just reading my blog, you don't have the whole picture of how life is here. Sure, it's all smiles for the camera, but it's definitely been a very difficult walk. It's 97% smiles and 3% tears and frustration.

That 3% of the time is usually when Carolina eats. I have never experienced anything more infuriating during my parenting than how this little girl eats. I get so frustrated.

I am constantly reciting the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control) to keep myself from making an ugly face or saying something I'll regret. God has definitely kept me under His control, but at the end of the day, when the kids are both in bed and I start thinking about it - I can get really mad.

However, we are working on it and I am constantly trying to give her new foods to play with and then eat. She loves scrambled egg (which is solid!!), so I thought it would be smart to let her feed herself a bit (I usually feed her, as part of the attachment process) and then add a few Cheerios to the mix. Sure enough, once she had the idea that she could feed herself and got into a groove, she ate all the Cheerios. Since then, she has been eating Cheerios semi-regularly.

Alas, that is the most "solid" food she'll eat though. Still...it's progress, right? I am just persevering and hope that I will get some ideas from the folks tomorrow that will help even more.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

End of a Long Week

It's the end of a long week, filled with doctor's appointments every day, for both Carolina and me.


The long and short of it is, Carolina has hearing loss that is consistent with water in her ears - she can hear us at a conversational level, but nothing under that. However, if we can get that water to go away (either with tubes or time), she may regain her hearing.

Despite her hearing loss, she is already picking up on several words and sounds. She can now say: uh oh, dog, dada, gege (big brother in Chinese), gou gou (dog in Chinese) and today she said more.

Yesterday I was telling her no (to climbing up the stairs) and wagging a finger in her face when she put a hand on her hip and wagged her own finger back in my face. Cheeky. She is (typically) very obedient when I say no and immediately stops doing whatever it is, but she is really branching out on testing her limits.

We've had some really big struggles with food this week as well, but we've also had several victories (like mac 'n cheese and meatloaf). The Early Intervention folks are coming out next Tuesday to evaluate her. Hopefully, she'll qualify for help, because I am at my wit's end. She honestly tests my limits every day with her eating issues.

For myself, I have not had any more allergic reactions to anything - no more hives, rashes or itching, thank goodness. I am now seeing a new doctor who rose to the challenge of discovering what in the world is happening. I'm about to go off all my medicine on Sunday, so we shall see...

Today we went to Tweetsie with some great friends.


Sam wanted to wear his Baby Legs to look like Big Bird all day. It was quite chilly this morning, only in the 50's, so it was fine with me. Carolina wore hers too.

Always grabbing for something. Sam is obviously very serious about his Mouse Train ride.

Surgery Questions Answered

With all of the adoption fun going on, I've been negligent in informing everyone about Sam's surgery. We have been getting a lot of questions about the surgery, so I wanted to answer a few here.

At the end of July, Sam has another appointment with his cardiologist. At that time, his defibrillator will be "interrogated" and we will learn if the lead (wire) to his heart that has not been reading properly is still NOT reading properly.

That is to say, the number should be higher than 8 and it has steadily lowered to a number 1.8 and 2.3 on our last visits.

This means a surgeon needs to go back inside of Sam, take the lead off of his heart and find another location that "reads" a higher number.

There are many reasons for a lead reading low numbers: scar tissue, growth of the heart so the electrical current isn't flowing in the same spot anymore or even is dislodging a little (highly unlikely in our case).

He is NOT sick today. This surgery is merely to fix the lead, not to fix anything related to his condition. The main concern is that if this lead is not reading properly, his heart could go into an arrhythmia and the defibrillator might miss it.

If, at his next appointment, the lead is still reading low (it literally would be a miracle if it doesn't), he will have surgery on August 18th first thing in the morning.

We need to get this done before cold and flu season begins and we feel August is a good time.

This will be an extremely painful surgery. He will be on an epidural for two days. He has a minimum hospital stay of five days. We will be at UNC Hospitals in Chapel Hill for this surgery. Bill will be arriving from China on August 16th at RDU, the same day I will drive there with Sam and Carolina. IF his last surgery is any indication on how his defibrillator will handle this, we may have a problem.

His last surgery produced many inappropriate shocks within a short period of time, just as he was being moved to his bed.

So, please be in prayer that God will perform a miracle in Sam and his lead would read a higher number. However, if God chooses not to perform that miracle, please be in prayer for Sam starting today that he would not feel as much pain as they are telling us he will. Pray for us as we juggle Carolina and Sam at the hospital and pray for Bill to get over his jet lag quickly so he will be of use to me.

Questions? Post them and I will answer as best as I can.

Happy Fourth!

We had a blast playing at the Valle Crucis Park this morning at the Second Annual Freedom Breakfast with our friends. Sam and Carolina enjoyed the playground the most.

Carolina felt especially content and happy today.

She even enjoyed this beautiful dog (who was with our party),
until he looked at her. That's when she lost it.

Sam enjoyed lovin' on his daddy.

Another Ear Update

We visited Carolina's pedi this morning and she officially has no perforations in either ear! We will have an appointment with an audiologist to see how bad the hearing loss is, or if it's permanent. Also, she's got a strange little area on her face that has bumps, so we are being referred to a dermatologist for that.

All of her blood work came back and she's perfectly free of disease and is very healthy. She's gained half a pound in a week and a half! We're going to keep checking her height and weight when we come in over the next few months to make sure she's on par with her overall growth. Other than that, she's good to go!

We also had a visit with our friends Pam and Rob and their family this morning. You might remember that Carolina had many play dates with Rebekah, their newly adopted daughter, while we were in China. I don't think they remembered each other, but it was fun to see everyone interacting anyway.

And finally, the coup de gras: Carolina is now saying, "uh oh" and "dog"!!! Appropriately too!

We're so proud of her. She is definitely hearing better if she's mimicking our sounds and words.

Now if we can just get her to eat solids...

PS Joel, you have an open invitation to pick raspberries anytime you want. For free.

Finger Painting

I couldn't have two more different children.

Her first time with paints.

Mr. Careful

Signs of an Institutionalized Child

1. Even when there are toys around, a paper bag or coaster is always preferred. (This might be true of a lot of kids, but Carolina is especially partial to wooden objects or paper bags and rarely plays with toys.)



2 Any dish towel or hand towel will comfort her. I have found her on multiple occasions laying on the floor next to the oven with the dish towel in her arms while trying to take a nap. Bill learned that they used to lay a hand towel over her face while she was sleeping in the orphanage to keep the light out of her eyes.

3. She won't cry no matter how badly she is hurt. We are working on this one and it is getting better, but she still doesn't cry appropriately.

4. When she's done napping, she quietly waits in her crib for someone to get her. I have to check on her often to make sure she's not just sitting there waiting.

5. Kisses are still a mystery to her. She hasn't decided if she likes them or not, but will tolerate them for now. She won't smile when she receives them.

6. She hoards food in her mouth when she's done eating it.

7. She refuses to eat solid foods. Absolutely refuses. I'll post more on this later.

The good news is, even though there are even more signs that she has been institutionalized, she is adjusting quickly to her new life and is a fast learner. She fits into our family absolutely perfectly - she has a great sense of humor, she is very bright, she is extremely obedient (albeit obstinate as well), loves music and we all love to dote on her.


From Carolina herself:
t\
h yyyy FR

Have a great Wednesday.