Clean House

We have been through so much in the last month, my house has been clearly neglected. I was a part of MOPS last year and won a door prize of one free hour with two people cleaning my house from The White Glove.

Well, the two women just left and it only took them one hour to clean my home from top to bottom. Granted, we don't live like pigs, but there were still a lot of details I just haven't been able to get to. I am so grateful that I didn't have to spend a penny on it and so grateful I didn't have to do it myself. My house hasn't been in this good of shape for a loooong time.

My parents said they would pay for any additional time, but we didn't need it.

On the kid-front, we had a great playdate this morning with Sam's best friend, Trathan, at his house. Seeing the two boys together is so amazing in my eyes. They really act like brothers in a lot of ways - they love each other, that much is evident, but they fight some too. I was watching them play with cars together and saw that Sam had two and Trathan had two and when Sam would take Trathan's he was okay and when Trathan would take Sam's he was okay. Brotherly love is amazing to see in a tangible form right in front of me. We are so blessed for Trathan and his family and the love they show us. Trathan even asked if he could "see Sam's surgeries" when we first got there, and Sam was more than happy to oblige.

Carolina has been fever-free for a while now and seems to be on-the-mend. She's a real cutie pie these days. I think my love for her exploded when she started sleeping through the night. Still, it's all-consuming and I can't stand to be away from her.

So, with a clean house, I am going to continue reading the book Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers and enjoy some quiet time.

Surgery Pics

Lately, Sam's been saying things like, "help me up in my chair, I don't want to bust my surgeries." Or, "I need to be careful with my surgeries."

I know everyone wants to see what Sam's "surgeries" look like.


I finally got the adhesive off a couple nights ago - that big rectangular dark mark around the incision.
You can see just under his left arm the largest and most offensive incision. I say "offensive" because it is the most painful and most difficult to heal from. Just under it is the stitch for the chest tube. He had the stitch out Friday morning and took it like a champ, even saying that it was "ticklish" as it came out.

And, here is my little monkey, who has been running a 102.9F fever for two days straight. We think she's got a virus and she's handling it well, however it could be teething. But, our biggest worry, apart from her, is that Sam will catch it. Please pray with us that Sam will be spared this bug. With his heart having recently gone through so much, it's likely that he will have an arrhythmia if he has a fever.

China Doll

Seriously, could she be any cuter?

Carolina's Antics

My little girl is going to need for me to hire a full-time EMT to follow her around. She has performed some amazing acrobatic-style feats in the last few weeks. The more confident she feels, the more amazing and daredevil things she does.

Two days ago she was coming down the stairs and apparently hit the second step too hard and pitched forward. She landed on the crown of her head and fell backwards to her back. When Bill tried to console her (she wasn't actually crying), she was more irritated with him than with her amazing fall.

Yesterday, I was in the living room when I saw her fly, Superman-style, head-first into the screen door. She was about six inches of the ground and parallel to the porch as she did it. I keep the screen door open so the kiddos can come in an out as they please, and she landed head-first into the open door, her outstretched arm went just under it. I couldn't believe what I had just seen, so I ran over to her to hug her and "console" her (again, she wasn't crying) and she was (again) more irritated with me for stopping her from doing whatever it was she wanted to do.

This is what I found this morning when I went to get her out of her pack-n-play.

She's definitely a little gymnast. I have already decided to start her in tumbling classes as soon as I can. I need someone to teach her how to properly handle her little body without hurting it.
Save as Draft
Sam, on the other hand, is still very cautious. Although he is running around like he didn't just have major surgery last week, he is still very careful with what he does. He told me this morning that he needed help getting into his booster seat because "I just had surgeries, Mama." He is still having a lot of pain when everything settles down at night, but last night was our best yet. He's stopped eating though - and will only eat berries or maybe goldfish. I'm going to speak with his pedi about this on Friday when we get his stitch out.

We might even try to escape the house today. It's supposed to be a beautiful day and I am itching to get out. I know they are too. I'll take my camera.

Wow

Wow, this video amazed me. I know it really opens up the possibilities for Sam when he grows up - he can really do anything he wants. And, for the record, that is EXACTLY what it looks like when Sam gets shocked. Everyone always asks...

Two Years Ago Yesterday

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of our first knowledge of Sam's condition Brugada Syndrome.

I posted about our story over the course of several days last year. You can revisit it here, here, here and here. It can be a bit difficult to read at times, because it was difficult to live through, but if you're new here, you might want to settle in with a cup of coffee and learn more about this dangerous heart condition. It could save someone you love's life one day.

11 month-old Sam in a wagon at UNC Hospital

Now here we are two years later and Sam's had an even more major surgery, with even more painful incisions. The difference is that now he has a little sister and I wasn't sick this time (praise God!). Also, we live in a different town. But, one of the similarities is that we are still contemplating what we should do for our future. We took a two year leave of absence from our previous position and the time is closing quickly when we will have to make a final decision. We were hoping this surgery would tell us more of what we needed to know.

This morning, Sam saw his pediatrician. Everything looks great. Sam's lung sounded clear and his incisions both look wonderful. I also got permission to skip the ophthalmologist appointment Carolina was supposed to have this week (which we have to pay 80% of) and just see the pediatrician on Friday when Sam gets his stitch taken out. Her doctor will check out her eye (in a very detailed way) again on Friday and we all get to skip going back to yet another doctor this week.

This is especially important because the H1N1 flu bug is going through our town. I cannot tell you how packed the parking lot was today and how many teenagers I saw with masks on at the pedi's office. They rushed us right back, skipped the co-pay (they'll bill me later) and one of our church members who works there came back to help me with the kiddos the whole time. Sam wore a mask and they gave us several more to come back with in the future.

I love small town life.

The bad news on Sam is that he's still in a great deal of discomfort over night. I awoke this morning at 1:30 with him standing by my bed screaming. I don't know how he got out of his twin bed without hurting himself more, but he was in an extreme amount of pain by the time he got to me. He told me he didn't call for me at all, he just got out of bed. Then he woke up again at 4:30 screaming out in pain. This time we pulled out the big guns and gave him his narcotic. He slept peacefully until 9am. So did Carolina, actually. I think she just needed an excuse to sleep in - she's totally beat just like the rest of us.

Sam seems fine with just Tylenol throughout the day. At night, especially after an active day, he gets a bit stiff and uncomfortable. I think we'll continue the narcotic when he wakes up in pain throughout the nights this week, but it should be less and less that we give it to him.

So, we're officially quarantined again, but this time Daddy is home so it's not so bad. Keep praying for Sam!

Sunday Evening

We made it home yesterday without event. It was a difficult ride for Sam during some portions, but for the most part he did great.

When we got home last night, there was a huge bin of groceries and hot dinner waiting on our front porch. It sure was a nice welcome home. My friend Casey and her family are really taking care of us. Even today my friend Lauren did a bit more grocery shopping for us. There's just something about being home...

I noticed that Sam has some bed sores on his back when I went to bathe him last night.

For the record, Sam has three incisions - one straight down his chest, one starting on his shoulder blade in back and going under his armpit toward his chest and the third is the chest tube that was for draining (under the armpit one). He noticed the huge stitch in that one tonight and asked what it was, but the other two are glued shut on the outside.

I can't remember exactly what I wrote before about his procedure, but I wanted to clarify a bit on the subject since there has been some question. Skip down below the italics if you're already on board with what happened.

Sam had a defibrillator implanted when he was almost 11 months old. One of the wires connected to his heart was not reading correctly, and the number kept going down (they implanted it at a 7 and it went down to a 1.8). His doctor wanted to reposition it, hence this surgery.

What we didn't know was that Sam's doctor didn't actually want to "reposition" it, but instead wanted to add a new one and leave the old one where it was. If he actually removed the old one, he'd have had to crack his breast plate and it would have been very difficult for Sam. Instead of removing it, the surgeon just cut the wire and capped it off.

In the meantime, the surgeon put in a new lead on Sam's left ventricle, hence the under-the-armpit incision. The surgeon tried for over an hour to find a good number and kept coming up with fives or sixes even after sewing it onto Sam's poor heart, which aren't great numbers. Then, all of the sudden, he landed on a 22. I have no idea what the unit of measurement is, but I know a 22 is a great high number. He sewed it on and it stayed at low 20's and upper teens.

Then Sam's surgeon had to make an incision down his chest and belly again to actually remove the defibrillator in order to unplug the old wire and plug in the new one. He had to make the incision a lot longer than he intended because it was such a tight fit. His surgeon said Sam's body had really embraced the defibrillator over the last two years. He said, "Getting it out was tight and getting it back in was even tighter."

So...any questions? Feel free to ask.

The VTAC episodes Sam had were probably a result of high fever, electrolyte imbalance and irritation of his heart. He will always struggle with arrhythmia's and high fevers as is typical of Brugada patients.

We heard that last week here in our county there were 31 cases of the H1N1 flu. As a result, Sam's cardiologist has suggested we not do anything public for several weeks - no church, no playground, no library...nothing. When we go to the pediatrician's office, we need to put masks on the kiddos.

We have an appointment in the morning. I will write more as I know more.

Thanks for your continued prayers and support. A special thanks to Doug and Nina who spent the night with me in the hospital that crazy VTAC and convulsion night. And to Shannon for always being willing to post here. And to my brother and his wife for surrounding us with love and providing meals from folks we have never even met.

Hopefully we'll have good news tomorrow about Sam's lung and his swollen incision.

Going Home

Shannon one last time...

As I talked to Teesa just a minute ago, they were in the car headed back home. Everyone is ready to get back, and the doctors felt confident releasing Sam.

No word yet on how the chest x-ray looked this morning, and Sam has been in a good deal of pain today, but they gave him some oxycodeine.

Please continue to pray for quick healing and recovery, for protection from any illnesses, and for this family to get some good rest in their own beds!!

Praise God for His goodness and blessings!

Friday Evening

I realize everybody has been itching to see pictures, so I'll start with some that I haven't uploaded yet that were taken on the day of surgery.

Here is Sam just before the surgery. He seemed pretty

happy for the most part, but occasionally would ask to just go home.

This is in the PICU

Also in the PICU

On to more happy photos...taken today.

After dinner tonight, Sam was rewarded with a cupcake

We were reunited with our favorite nurse from two years ago tonight. Holly is from Mainland China. Sam spoke his first Chinese word with her two years ago. She is thrilled to be back with Sam and keeps doting over how brilliant he is. She is the one and only nurse he has actually spoken to this week. Every other time a nurse has tried to ask him questions or engage him, he turns his head the opposite direction and won't speak or make eye contact. With Holly Sam counts to ten in Chinese, reads his letters, answers her questions and takes his medicine without complaint. What a blessing.

When he woke up from his nap today, Sam was in an extreme amount of pain. It took narcotics to help him feel better. After dinner tonight, he was begging to go for a wagon ride. We rode him down to the interactive computer game on the floor and he put puzzles together with it. I was blown away by how fast he caught on. It took him about 20 steps before he started walking more comfortably. At first he was slow and unsure. He was still walking gingerly towards the end, but with more speed and grace.

We looked at his thorocotomy incision tonight and it's still a bit swollen. I'll be interested to hear what the doc says tomorrow.

Maybe we'll go home tomorrow, depending on everything. We are trying to determine whether or not we should just stay here one more night even if we're discharged tomorrow. I am not looking forward to a three hour drive of Sam in a car seat with restraints pushing on his incision. Maybe one more day might help the healing process a bit more.

Oh, and he's still refusing to use a diaper, but is routinely going potty in a little portable urinal and even used a portable toilet (adult size!) earlier to have his first bowel movement (sorry for TMI, but it's a BIG achievement!). It was quite funny because Bill held him on the potty (since he kept falling in) the whole time and ended up getting sprayed a bit. The fun never ends over here!

Friday Afternoon

Sam's thorocotomy incision is a little bit swollen. We are going to have to keep an eye on it and the surgeon will come back by in the morning to check. As long as it's not red and oozing, we should be okay. But, his temperature was creeping up about an hour ago...so we need to take special care to make sure he doesn't have an infection OR fever. I've asked them to check his temp every hour now, instead of every four hours, just to keep on top of it.

He is off the narcotics now and only on Tylenol. This seems to be working for him so far, but if he needs the narcotics, they are available to him. We'll see how sore he is from playing so hard earlier. He is currently passed out from the weariness of playing.

His lung still has some congestion in it, which is normal from spending so much time in bed on his back. They will check via X-ray again tomorrow morning to make sure it's not still collapsed (even partially) and that there's no fluid on it. They gave him some Lasix last night to try and get him to pee off some of that fluid.

He seems in good spirits and is talking a lot and even laughing some.

Carolina is much happier today, since she's not being neglected anymore. She's very happy to be in the Ergo Baby carrier while we're walking around or just hanging around the room. But, she had her second night terror today during nap time (since being here). It had been almost three weeks since she had one, so obviously she's under a lot of stress. A night terror is very scary for everyone who is involved - she doesn't open her eyes and just screams with a rigid body. Today and a couple days ago she kept reaching out for something behind me. We are inclined to believe she's having night terrors about being taken away from me, since that's exactly the scenario that has been happening over the last four days.

I believe it will take a few weeks for our whole family to detox from this experience, but I'm sure time will heal all wounds. We have felt the Lord with us and comforting us in our darkest hours here. Thank you so much for your continued prayers and love for our family. I know there have been a lot of behind-the-scenes praying and other helps going on - so thank you to all of you.

We are blessed to be prayed for, blessed to be given such a cloud of witnesses and blessed to be in this position to testify that our God is greater than anything.

Sam wanted me to read this to him the night he was shocked, and I think this is highly appropriate. You've heard it before - you know the words...

Isaiah 43:1-8

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and formed you, O Israel: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name: you are mine.

When you pass through the water, I will be with you; in the rivers you shall not drown. When you walk through fire, you shall not be burned; the flames shall not consume you.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your savior. I give Egypt as your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in return for you. Because you are precious in my eyes and glorious, and because I love you, I give men in return for you and peoples in exchange for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; from the east I will bring back your descendants, from the west I will gather you. I will say to the north: Give them up! and to the south: Hold not back! Bring back my sons from afar, and my daughters from the ends of the earth: Everyone who is named as mine, whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made. Lead out the people who are blind though they have eyes, who are deaf though they have ears.

Photos

Yesterday - Sam twirls his hair (like Mommy does) when he needs comfort

Taking a wagon ride to get an X-ray

On the way to get an X-ray

In the atrium playroom - working on standing up

He figured out he could walk and was very happy about it

Of course, we found the train tracks

You ought to take note of the pajamas Sam is wearing. Mrs. King, our neighbor and dear friend, made them for Sam. One pair of Thomas PJs and one pair of construction PJs. We had to verbally wrestle him to take off the Thomas ones today, which have been soaked through with sweat. He's very happy with the construction ones, but wants to keep them buttoned at all times. He was very resistant to going to the playroom, but once we got there and he figured out he could walk, it was all we could do to slow him down. He even walked up a big ramped area and slid down a slide, against my wishes. I had to get Bill to help me because Sam was refusing to obey me and just kept walking despite my saying no. He finally said, "just one slide down."

No doubt your prayers have helped him.

Just a few minutes ago - with a foul ball from the Durham Bulls game last night.

Miss Carolina appreciated the playroom too

(note the double chin)

A Good Night

Just got an email from Teesa which was encouraging...

I actually got a lot of sleep last night. Carolina was only up from 2-3am. Not too bad and I went to sleep at about 9:30 or so.

Bill said they had a great night, but very little sleep. What I mean by great is that he had no events, no VTAC, nothing like that. The doc said he wants to see if we can get Sam off the narcotic (Oxycodone). He has been going for longer stretches without it, but then he'll cough or something and it's back to demanding the meds (me demanding, anyway). The next time the med is due, we'll see about giving him Tylenol and if that doesn't cut it, we'll give him the narcotic too. They would prefer for him not to have narcotics to go home with, but it's likely he will anyway. They'll do another chest x-ray tomorrow to see about his lung. The doc said usually that only lasts for 24 hours, although Sam had his for 48...so we just don't know how that will go.

Bill said Sam finally agreed to wear a diaper, but is still telling him every time he has to pee and is going in a little portable urinal. Stubborn kid. Still hasn't pooped, but he's getting colace every couple of hours.

He was very happy after the doctors left this morning and told Bill that they didn't hurt him at all.

Carolina is a happier camper - she's gotten her eye med this morning, a big breakfast and lots of time with mom.

We're going to try and make it to the atrium playroom in just a few minutes. I need to convince this boy to get up and he just wants to lay there. Oh, they took his bandages off this morning. His side looks swollen and terrible, but the JP tube stitch looks good and the front incision is not swollen at all. Still sad though.

She also said Carolina is doing well, and is happy this morning after having a big breakfast and lots of Mommy-time.

Please keep praying for them as they move forward. Let's pray for a really great day.

Thursday Night Wrap-Up

Shannon here again, posting for Teesa.

I talked to Teesa a little over an hour ago, and received some of the tid-bits of the day. It's been a very tiring day for the Klears, but they are persevering. As you know, Sam received a shock last night from his device when he went into VTAC. They discovered today that his heart actually had a few episodes (around 4 if I remember correctly) where the device "paced" him out of it, rather than shocking him. This is good.

Sam also sat up today and took a few slow steps. It's very important that they get him moving, especially in light of the fact that today his lung was more collapsed than before, and also had some fluid.

They are going to give him a diuretic to try to help him urinate, but this sometimes puts electrolytes off-balance, so they're going to have to monitor that because out-of-whack electrolytes can send his heart into VTAC again.

At this point the doctors are still happy with the way things are going, and there is talk of releasing them as early as Saturday. But I know Teesa is in no hurry to leave, and they're all just taking this one day at a time.

In the midst of it all, there is little Carolina. And it sounds like she's being a trooper while most of the attention is on her big brother right now. She is still needing daily attention to her healing eye, but it sounds like she's doing well. Teesa is resting with her at the RMH tonight.

Please continue to keep them all in your prayers. We're praying for a good night and a really good day tomorrow. I know they are thankful beyond words for all your prayers.

8/20 Evening

What a tiring day. I honestly don't feel like getting into the details. Sam needs our prayers. Period.

8/20 11:15am

Thanks to Nina and Shannon for helping post to gather prayers for Sam.

We have seen the doctors today and there is still no known reason for Sam going into VTAC last night. There are several theories though. Any one of the following could cause an arrhythmia in a child:

• He just had surgery.
• He did have a fever, which has proven to give him problems in the past.
• He also had low magnesium, which means his electrolytes were imbalanced - this will always be a cause for concern as he can go into VTAC with an electrolyte imbalance.
• Another possible reason is that his heart was put under duress at the time of the surgery.
• He could have an infection.

The cardiologist was just in listening to Sam's heart and said he has now heard a "normal" murmur. He said it's nothing to worry about, but since his heart is outputting so much more, it's likely that it would come out now (even though we haven't heard anything about it before now).

His defibrillator was set to shock Sam if 24/32 beats were over 260 beats per minute. It was set to shock him a second time if 9/12 beats were that fast. Sam's heart only beat 10 times at over 260bpm last night before he was shocked.

So, we're in a quandary again as to why it shocked him so quickly. One theory is that his heart went into a very fast VTAC but came out of it on its own and then the second one the defibrillator thought it was time to check 9/12 beats. But, that seems unlikely to me.

A Medtronics rep will be in soon to interrogate the device and we will learn more then.

Keep praying for my boy. He's in a bad way.

They have stopped the epidural and started him on oral medication. If this works for pain management, they'll take the epidural and Foley (catheter) out this afternoon. Our hope is that he will be in the playroom playing during their 2-4pm hours. Who knows if he'll be able to tolerate moving or not, but we absolutely need him on his feet. He's been complaining about having to go to the potty, but can't go and is refusing a diaper.

As for us getting out of here? Who knows. I'm in no hurry, because there are no pediatric cardiologists in Boone and I don't want to put him in a bad situation.

6 am August 20

This is Nina Patton from Seymour, Tennessee writing for Teesa. Sam was moved to a step down unit in ICU yesterday because he was doing much better. At about 10:20 pm last night, 8/19, he went into vetac. He is such a brave little guy. Teesa and Sam have had quite a long night because they have been trying to determine what caused the vtac. They are suspecting that there may be infection and the blood work they took last night should give them the answers. They expect to take out the epidural today and take out the catheter, which should help a whole lot. Teesa and Sam got about three hours of sleep and the movie Cars stayed on all night. On the brighter side, Carolina got to come and see Sam yesterday. She and Bill went to the Ronald McDonald house last night and plan to come up around 8 am this morning. My husband, Doug, and myself spent the night in the room so Teesa and Sam would not be alone, which we were glad to do. Please continue to pray!

Please Pray

This is Shannon posting for Teesa.

I just received a phone call and she asked me to post this so everyone can pray.

Sam just received a shock from his device because he went into v-tac, but the cause for it is unknown. They were adjusting his position slightly in the bed just before he was shocked and Teesa noticed his heart monitor was at 284. His fever is very slight, so no one knows right now what would put his heart rate so high.

Obviously, this was very troubling for them. Please pray.

Wednesday Evening Update

Wow, today has been a very difficult day in a lot of ways. But, God has really blessed us in many ways as well. We were very surprised last night by some friends of ours who drove all the way from Sevierville, TN just to care for us. They brought us lunch and did Bill's two week's worth of laundry and have generally loved on us.

My Aunt Nancy also came in from Georgia to care for us today and love on us (plus meet her new great niece). We were already tiring of the cafeteria food and my brother's friends whom we have never met made us dinner.


As for Sam, he has suffered a great deal of pain today, just as they said he would. He slept for a good portion of the day, but when he was awake it was very painful.

However, his ICD (defibrillator) has been turned back on because there was no evidence of double-counting, as he had last time. He was moved down to the CICC (pronounced kick) unit about halfway through the day as well. When he awoke after being moved, he was in severe pain. His legs were kicking and jolting out like he was having a convulsion, but it was just from the pain. The surgeon happened to be here at that very moment and a lot of activity occured at one time. In the end, the "pain management team" decided to add a pain medication to his regimen as well as upping his epidural slightly.

Taken about two seconds after the one above

Right now he's watching a brand new "Bob the Builder" DVD (thanks, Ann!), wearing his brand new homemade Thomas PJs (thanks Jean!) and humming along with the theme song. His pain level varies, but it seems they have finally made him comfortable. Hopefully he'll go to sleep eventually (he HAS been asleep for almost two days, so I imagine he's a bit off-schedule) and will be comfortable.

His lung seems to have improved a bit overnight, but when they turn off the epidural in the morning, he'll have his work cut out for him.

Wednesday Morning

Sam had a decent night. He has started to wake up more frequently since about 6am this morning, but was still falling asleep within about a minute.

However, he's been awake for about 20 minutes now and has requested a little TV. Of course, nothing suits what he wants to watch, but there's no DVD player in here so he can't watch his ol' standbys.

A very small part of his lung is collapsed, so it seems that he got a lot of big breaths in overnight. He also had a couple sips of water (laced with orange juice) this morning. Once he drinks more, they'll get him on some food and then when he has eaten some they'll likely move him to the CICU (cardiac intensive care unit). He also asked to sit up this morning, so (without moving him), we adjusted his bed to a sitting-up position. He's in a tiny little ball now and still hasn't wanted to move. He will need to get moving today in order to help his lung - so they may have to turn down some portion of his epidural in order to meet that goal.

I haven't heard anything from Bill and Carolina. I assume they'll be here mid-morning.

Final Evening Post

I am now at Sam's bedside with Bill's laptop. Bill has gone back to the RMH with Carolina and will attempt a night with her on his own. I'm not really sure how he and his jet-lagged body will get her there and do everything they need to do, but I'm sure it'll get done.

Pray for a smooth evening with her. I can only imagine what he's about to experience.

Here's what I know that I didn't share with you earlier. I'd written previously that Sam's number on his old lead was at a dangerous 2.3 and as low as 1.8, but when we last interrogated the device two weeks ago, it was a 4. Dr. Buck felt that it needed to be a 5 in order not to do surgery, so he wanted to go ahead with it anyway.

It took his surgeon many tries today of sewing the new lead on and getting low numbers before he finally found a sweet spot. He said the key was in getting two leads a little farther apart from each other than normal. He landed on a spot that was in the low 20's when they sewed Sam up. That's what it's supposed to be! Praise God.

His surgeon said we know a few new things about his heart. First, it's strong, very strong - and definitely stronger than two years ago. They tried to put his heart into VTAC to test the device three times. The first time it wouldn't even get into VTAC. The second time it was very short and the third time it was also very short - his heart came out of VTAC on its own. That's great news. They didn't want to push the issue, so they decided not to check if it works, because we already know it does work and that the shocking lead is perfectly fine (they replaced the R-wave lead today).

The second thing we learned today is that his heart is still very messed up. All the electricity flowing through it is very unpredictable. Finding the "sweet spot" was much more difficult than it would be on any other person.

The surgery took about four and a half hours.

He is going to be in the PICU until they take out his epidural. They may leave that in another day (so 2 days total). If his STATS start dropping (like the oxygen level) they may back off the epidural some overnight, especially since he's still so sedated.

The collapsed lung may prove to be a problem tomorrow. If they can't get it to re-inflate (through crying or blowing bubbles), they will have to beat his chest. Remember though, his chest has a very long incision in it that isn't being covered by pain meds. So, that could prove to be very painful.

He is in a considerable amount of pain whenever he moves right now. We've had to move him up on his bed a little bit to help with his position and it was extremely uncomfortable for him.

Please pray for his pain management overnight.

Pray for rest for our family.

Collapsed Lung

Sam has a partially collapsed lung, which is what is causing his labored breathing. All this really means is that he is going to have to work extra hard tomorrow at blowing bubbles and taking deep breaths to try and recover his full lung.

He woke up a few minutes ago when I was with him. He immediately said he needed a hug and didn't want to let go for a long while. Then he said he wanted to listen to some Thomas music. Fortunately, there's a CD player in his room and he's happily resting listening to it now. Bill is with him.

He also said that his belly hurt very badly. He was actually awake and communicating (although very groggy) for about 10 minutes before falling back to sleep. We've had a few visitors today and my SIL is bringing Chick-Fil-A for dinner. Thanks to Jenny, we had lunch provided too.

Keep praying for him, please.

Saw Him

I got a chance to be with Sam in the PICU. It was very sad, especially with all the tubes. He woke up and cried and seemed to be in a bit of pain with his belly incision.

His breathing is a bit labored too, but they will be doing a chest x-ray soon and that will tell if he has a collapsed lung or any congestion. However, it is normal to have labored breathing with some of the stress he's been under.

God is in control yesterday, today and tomorrow. He will carry us through this.

Thank you for praying. I will keep updating as I can. I'm about to go back in with him and then we'll eat lunch. Since he is mostly unconcious, today is a good day to spend time with Carolina, especially since she cannot go into the PICU.

Breathing Tube Out

Sam has woken up enough to pull his own breathing tube out. Apparently it really irritated him.

The doctor had to make his incision a little longer in front than he initially thought - so it's lower than the old one used to be. They had to pull the whole defibrillator out in order to rewire it as well and it was tight getting it out and tight getting it back in.

He'll be in the PICU at least 24 hours.

Surgery Done

Sam has just been sewn up. The anesthesiologist has come to see us and said they actually made a second incision in Sam's belly in order to actually plug in the new lead. We didn't realize they were going to do two incisions initially. She said the epidural may not block the pain in the belly, but they will be working with him and checking on him all day.

One of my best friends works here in the hospital and she just called to say she actually saw him in the hall and he was being rolled to the PICU and he looked good. I heard from the anesthesiologist that he was a bit grumpy, but otherwise okay.

Update on Surgery

Sam's nurse just came in to give us an update.

They have placed a new lead on Sam's heart successfully. The doctors said it went "superbly" and they are very pleased. He is being sewn up as I write this. He will have at least five days of recovery in the hospital (he'll likely be in the PICU tonight).

UPDATE: They just made the incision. The epidural looks great. Everything is good right now.

We're in the PICU waiting room. Sam is waiting for his surgery now. They did an interrogation of the device and the numbers were down to the mid-2s.

He'll have an epidural for pain, but there is a chance that won't work.
I kept hearing the word "painful" over and over again. We'll see how his recovery will be.
Carmen, the family specialist, went back with him into the OR. He was acting drunk. They asked him where his underwear was and he burst out laughing (apparently) and everyone got a kick out of it.
Dr. Buck said they will leave the device off for 24 hours at least.
They are going to leave the old lead on his heart.
They are going to add this new lead to the back of his left ventrical, which is the stronger part of the heart. They are really hoping for a stronger signal.
It could take two and a half to four and half or more hours.
They ARE going to test the device by sending his heart into VTAC, but if they can't get a sustained VTAC they are not going to wear him out. Still, Dr. Buck said he wants to make sure it works properly. Last time it took 8 times before his heart was in sustained VTAC for the testing - Dr. Buck indicated they wouldn't wear him out like that this time.
Our pastor Harold drove in from Boone last night. He is with us.
Bill's mother is with us too (from Columbia, SC)
My brother is spending the day with us too.

Pray for his surgeon Dr. Stewart.

Sam's Surgery

This is Shannon posting for Teesa while they're out of town for Sam's surgery. I will post updates and pics as she sends them to me.

I talked to Teesa this afternoon, and was happy to hear a few bits of good news. First, Bill made it home in the wee morning hours today, after a delayed flight. You can imagine he is pretty exhausted.

Second, the Klears were able to secure a room at the Ronald McDonald House. Answered prayer! Teesa said it's very nice there, with a playroom, and free laundry facilities, and some meals provided throughout the week by Dominoes Pizza, and McDonald's, of course.

You probably remember the reason for Sam's surgery is to fix / replace a lead on the device attached to Sam's heart. When they checked the numbers on his device recently, it was a 4, which was up, but not high enough (needed to be above 5). With everyone entering cold and flu season in a few months, Sam's device needs to be reading properly in order to ensure that if he encounters a problem his device will pick it up and correct it.

His surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am tomorrow (August 18th). Please pray:

- for Sam to be brave and at peace

- for Bill and Teesa also to have Divine peace

- for the surgeon, Dr. Buck as he performs the procedure

- for Carolina during this time of transition

- for quick healing / recovery

- for the entire family to have some rest

Sam had an appointment this morning that went very well. Robin, his nurse practitioner brought him a mask like the gas mask he'll be wearing in the morning, plus a heart monitor, a shower cap & surgeon's mask - and a sock monkey. Sam pretended to be a surgeon. What a trooper. God has certainly given him a grace and peace.

Tomorrow, Robin will go back and forth between surgery and the PICU waiting room, where she will keep Bill and Teesa up-to-date on the progress.

Thank you all so much for your prayers - please spread the word!

Emergency Room...Again

We spent the better part of our day at the emergency room again. This time it was for Carolina. I'm afraid to say she tried to poke her out and was, thankfully, unsuccessful.

She happened to be running with a hard-nippled sippy cup when she fell eye-first into said nipple. My friend Casey kept a cool head and called 911 while I was freaking out about how much blood was pouring out of her eye, like tears. After I finally got my wits about me, we all moved towards my car where Casey drove us to the ER.

Thankfully, she only has a very bad abrasion on her conjunctivas. All I really understand is that her vision shouldn't be impaired. Unfortunately, I now have to administer ointment to said eye every four hours around the clock for 7 days. Gah! As if nights weren't bad enough!

Our church really rallied around us. I could not believe the showing. We even had PB&J sandwiches brought to us. Sam was thoroughly entertained. Casey was amazing.

Here's my poor little girl...believe it or not, it looks better here. Although I expect it to be much worse tomorrow. And, if you'll look closely, you can see the circular mark on her nose and forehead from the edge of that cup! That nipple is about half an inch long, so it must have penetrated pretty deeply.

Suddenly Showing

Carolina seems to be feeling better today than yesterday. She was a bit lethargic and clingy yesterday and today she's just clingy. It's a great thing that I love to wear my babies. We went to Wal Mart and I threw her in the Baby Bjorn and we had a blast. She loves to be close to me that way, although when she and Sam are facing each other like that (he's in the cart), they do tend to poke at each other increasingly more throughout our trips.

Afterwards, I was able to go over to Suddenly Showing and buy my very first Ergo Baby carrier! I've been wanting one since before Sam was born, but they only sold Baby Bjorns at that time in Hong Kong. I LOVE my Bjorn though, and so does Bill. We have worn that thing everywhere and it's still in great condition. Both kiddos have used it now and it was well worth what we spent. Someone from our church gave me enough money to buy one...so I wasn't going to pass up this opportunity.

I'm most excited about the Ergo Baby because I can now wear Carolina on my back, side or front, whereas with the Bjorn, I can only wear her on my front. I think this is going to help immensely with my cooking issues. As soon as I start boiling water or washing dishes, Carolina is at my feet screaming to be held. Obviously this isn't safe for her and so I have stopped cooking for the time being. It absolutely KILLS me to not cook or bake, but it's what is necessary right now.

I'm also hoping the Ergo Baby will help at the hospital, especially while Carolina is with us through nap time. She always sleeps really well when she's up against us or in her pack-n-play, but doesn't sleep as soundly in a stroller. In fact, I can't think of time that she has actually slept in a stroller at all. We do love to wear our babies.

So, if you're in Boone and you want an Ergo Baby, Suddenly Showing is definitely the place for you. Looks like she's having a sale on them this week too.

We have ONE more doctor's appointment tomorrow before we leave on Saturday. I'll post again then.

Two Days Until We Leave

We're heading out for Durham in just two days. I've already started gathering items to pack and we're going out this morning to get the last of our grocery items.

After talking about it some with several people, Bill and I think it would be best for us to stay at the Ronald McDonald House in Chapel Hill, if they have room for us. We've debated over this a lot, because we have a free room and generous blessings waiting for us at my brother's house, but it'll be about a 40 minute drive plus we'll have to pay for parking at UNC. We kept trying to think through what would happen to Carolina and how we would split up our time.

Please pray with us that a room will open up on Monday. That way we can get Carolina settled immediately and there won't be too much diversity in her life. We're going to try to keep her schedule to the same one we have here - as much as is possible. I'm sure that will help.

Sam awoke this morning and said he can't wait for his surgery next week. He said he's so happy about going to Chapel Hill. I've tried to be realistic in telling him what to expect, but I can't bring myself to tell him how much it's going to hurt. Instead, I've been pumping up the fact that his favorite doctors will be with him and how he gets to wear homemade Thomas PJs that our friend and neighbor has made, plus he will get to have a Thomas pillow too. I've bought several trains and lots of stickers and I'm trying my hardest to make this transition easy. I know this is going to be hard though. Keep praying for him.

Carolina's New Bug

It wouldn't be a real countdown to surgery unless someone in our family got a big illness. Carolina is the winner this time. Based on her bloodwork, she either has mononucleosis or adenovirus. Her tonsils are so swollen, they look like small golf balls. Today she's finally acting sick by laying around and whining a lot.

So, since you're already praying for us, please pray that Sam doesn't get this. Since Carolina doesn't have a fever and hasn't had a fever, she's most likely NOT contagious. Not until she gets a fever (and the few hours beforehand) will she be contagious. The doctor seems to think she won't get one since she's likely been sick for a couple days already.

Still, I know her throat hurts and it's obvious my baby doesn't feel well.

Keep us all in your prayers!

Regarding Sam's surgery: it is scheduled for 7:30am on Tuesday, August 18th. That's next Tuesday. We'll be at UNC Hospitals in Chapel Hill. He'll be in the CICU (Cardiac Intensive Care Unit) afterwards, until we're released.

10 Years Together

Bill and I have been married 10 years on August 14th. I just wanted to honor him now, before things get too crazy around here and I'm too busy to work anymore on this montage.

Bill, I love you dearly and am so proud that God ordained our lives to be made one. You are my best friend and sharing the great times and the difficult times with you over the last ten (well, 12) years has been my greatest treasure.

I miss you.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sleep

We have definitely been having a difficult time adjusting lately. Mostly it's due to the fact that Carolina will not sleep. I cannot tell you how much that affects our entire family.

I was just reading a book called Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child suggested to me by a friend who adopted last Fall from Vietnam. I think Carolina's issues might be anxiety-related, according to this book. (By the way, this book is a MUST for folks who have adopted internationally.)

I have tried everything I can possibly think of to get this girl to sleep, but to no avail. She is very seriously in need of one full night's sleep (so is mommy and big brother). She will sleep for about two hours and then wake up intermittently to cry for 30 seconds, then remain quiet for two minutes and that will last about two more hours. The only soother is to get her a bottle of milk. In the last four nights she has has 32 ounces of milk every single night between the hours of 10pm and 6am.

I don't think she's hungry, although she might have acid reflux. I'll be seeing her doctor on Thursday to ask about that and to see how her ears have healed.

Please be in prayer for us as we approach Sam's surgery too. I do not know how this is going to affect Carolina - being in a new place for something so stressful. Plus I won't be with her some nights, but Bill will...still, she may have some difficulty. This part of the surgery will be new to us and I'm sure it will be difficult to handle.

There's no need to have anxiety about it right now, but I am going to be drawing some pictures to show her what's going to happen and try to talk to her about it. Maybe that will help...but who knows.

As for Sam, he is healthy and raring to go. He's really a remarkable young boy. I've caught him reading in bed with his bedside lamp on many times over the last week. He's also told me how he is "properly fine" recently. He's developing so well.

I thought I'd include a drawing of his. I was completely shocked to see how many letters he can write. I haven't taught him how to write any yet. This was done about four weeks ago.

Thoughts on Adoption

I honestly didn't think adopting a toddler would feel like having a newborn again. I suppose I was being a little bit unrealistic in my thinking. But, it's been almost two months that we've had Carolina home and I am finally getting my feet back on the ground.

I know everyone has been curious about how she is adjusting and I don't really have an answer to that question just yet. Just like with a newborn, every day changes, every minute has its own challenges. But, just like a newborn, we are filled with great love and appreciation for the very real and tangible blessing God has given us. Oh, and no sleep. Always with the sleep.

I have thought about how to describe adopting a child. The first week that we had her in China, I was filled with an overwhelming feeling of awe that the Lord would choose us for adoption. I hope I can explain this as well as it was explained to me by Him that first week and the following weeks.

When we were blessed after four and a half years of infertility with Sam, I was amazed that God would choose to make me a biological mother of my child. Then, when we almost lost Sam at 10 months-old, I begged God to not allow me to know the pain of losing my son, the way He sacrificed His only Son for us. I eventually (after a week of prayer) came to the decision that if the Lord chose to take my son, I would still give Him praise for even allowing me to have my son in the first place. Not only that, but I came to a point of thankfulness that He would choose ME, of all people, to understand, however remotely, the sacrifice He made in His Son for us.

Now, here we are almost two years later and I am faced with another honor. This honor is of knowing how it feels to adopt a child, just as God has adopted us into His family. Grafted, really. And here I am, feeling small and insignificant, and yet praising God because He chose me to know another small piece of His own puzzle in a very real way. I have adopted a child. I love my child as if she were from my own body. I don't know how it's possible, but it is very real. And very tangible, as I said before.

I still don't think I am explaining this correctly, but His words explain it best:

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will-- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Ephesians 1:4-6

So, in answer to everyone's question: Has she fully adjusted to our family? The answer is: I don't know, but we ARE a family. A complete family. We freely love her and I believe she loves us as well. What a wonderful example of God's love, even though we're far from perfect.