My Child: The Enigma

**Warning: You're about to see a glimpse of what I am struggling with these days. Please take care in how you respond. I know the Lord is in control of this situation and I trust Him completely. The following will give you a few of the ins and outs of details I need to come to terms with over the next few weeks.***

I've edited this to add that if you DO have some encouragement for me, please bring it on. I can use it right about now.


My child is an enigma to me and my husband.

We cannot figure him out. The doctors can't figure him out. I don't think he even has a clue as to how confusing he is to us.

When I took him to the doctor on Monday, he told me our last visit was on June 19th. That means that we actually achieved a record. In the last year since Sam had his very first illness EVER, which resulted in two febrile seizures (see sidebar for more details), his longest stint between doctor visits and illnesses was between June 19th and July 28th. That's 38 FULL days without seeing a doctor for an illness - but only 31 days without a low-grade fever/illness.

It was the best month too. We did so much and had so much fun during those 31 days. He learned a lot and grew by leaps and bounds. We almost felt like we were normal. But we are not.

The doctors always tell us that he gets sick the same amount that every other child his age does. Other kids go about two weeks to 14 days between illnesses. That seems awfully short to me. Bill just doesn't believe it. He thinks Sam is more sickly than other "average" children. I don't know what to believe.

What I do know is that he had 101.2F last night, but was fine all day today. At 4pm I took his temperature (rectally, as always) and it was 100F. At 5pm I took it again (because he felt a little warm) and it was 101F. I gave him some Motrin and it went right down and is still down even now (just took it while he was sleeping and it's 97.8F).

I will take him back to the doctor in the morning to see if anything has changed with his blood work. Hopefully they won't do anything too traumatic to him.

I'm concerned because Bill is leaving and I want for him to at least have the perception that we'll be okay before he leaves. But, I'm also a little concerned about what is going to happen while Bill is gone. Should Sam and I even consider going to Nashville, where Vanderbilt hospital has a great pediatric cardiology rhythm specialist, or should we stay here, where his doctors know his situation and can easily take care of him without me explaining everything over and over?

I'm no dummy - I realize that I am going to have to explain Sam's situation with every single medical professional, as that is necessary for legal reasons, but at least I will know HIS doctor has a clue. The entire office has a clue. What I'm mostly afraid of is another visit like the last one we had down in Charlotte. No one would believe me that his temperature needed to stay down. We argued and argued with the nurses, but they all thought he was just there for them to monitor his heart, not actively keep his temp down with cooling blankets and other methods.

It wasn't until the third day at Levine's Children's Hospital that they actually got a clue - only after his heart was shocked again and again from it beating too quickly.

Pray with me that his temperature will go down and stay down. And pray that he will be healed from this virus. And pray for me, that I will have strength from the Lord to deal with whatever life has in store over the next 12 days while Bill is gone.

I will always hold on to the verses in Isaiah 43- as they seem to be our life's verses since the few months before Sam was born. Here is the song we sing every day to Sam and to ourselves, knowing full-well that the Lord is in control of every situation we have, because we rely on Him and He is our strength. It's a little slower than the version we sing, but it's just as good.

Angie's Story

I've been following a blog by a woman named Angie. Her husband, Todd, sings in the band Selah. She lost her daughter recently.

She wrote the most amazing blog entry last week that I think you need to read. Even though I'm not the best writer in the world, I find it hard to really fall in love with someone's writing. This woman has captured my heart and speaks to it in ways it has not been spoken to before. Please read her blog entry called "Blink." It may put some things in perspective for you today.

Nap Time

I've got a lot to say today.

First of all, have you been thinking about the China Olympics the way I have? I just can't help but think something is going to happen in a big way. I read this article today. And this one. I wonder what is going to happen. I read a couple days ago that the bombings in Kunming are being blamed on a cult, but that they are related to the whole Tibet issue. It seems only fitting to me that they will put all of those issues together.

Second, Sam has been feverish again today. He had 101.5F last night. What is the deal?? I really want him to be fever-free when Bill leaves so he will rest easy.

Third, I had to go out to my brother's rental house today to take some pictures of the new carpet. I really didn't mean to take Sam out, but I didn't get it done yesterday and a promise is a promise. Since it was lunch time, I took Sam over to Chick Fil-A. I got myself a lemonade and once we got home, I was balancing him in my left arm and the lemonade in my left hand, while my bag was on my right arm and I was opening the front door with my right hand. This is what our friends the Mowery's called "training for the Mommy Olympics."

Anyway, I took video to show you what followed. (I only entered his room when I heard the Velcro of his cloth diaper being undone.)



And, the results are:



Needless to say, naptime was short today.

Summer Virus

I had to take Sam to the doctor yesterday (after the photos were taken) because he was running a fever. They took his blood and said he's got a virus. Poor thing isn't sleeping through the night right now. Once he fell asleep last night, he was moaning and groaning and woke up a lot. At about 3 in the morning, he woke up crying. He felt a little warm, but only had a slightly elevated temperature. I gave him some Tylenol and he was able to sleep until 6am.

Here my little sicky is watching Nihao, Kai Lan this morning (AWESOME show, by the way). He's very intense, but you can still see the little circles under his eyes.

So, we had to stay in all day yesterday and he is totally out of milk and we don't have any bread or food! Talk about getting behind in my schedule.

Bill came home last night and had to make a conference call that lasted one hour and about 10 other calls overseas. He's hardly had a break in the last two weeks. Now, with little sleep at night, he's probably struggling a lot at work today. I know he would hate to leave for India on Saturday while Sam is sick too.

The doctor said that if Sam isn't fever-free by Thursday or Friday we need to return AND our trip to Nashville (on Sunday) may be delayed or cancelled. I really hope not, since Sam absolutely needs to see his great grandparents and great aunts and uncles. So do I. But, mostly for his sake, I hope he feels better soon.

Crawford and Sam

Here are some photos we took this morning of Crawford and Sam. We had to get pretty creative to prop Crawford up!

Home Study Update

Our home study update went really well. Thanks to all of you who have written and called asking about it. It lasted 'almost' one hour. I was surprised at how short it was, but our basic home study was already completed a couple years ago. So, this was just an update to make sure our new home is safe and welcoming.

Sam has adjusted really well here. We're still struggling with nap times every day, but in general he's fine. He struggled with a low-grade fever during the week my parents were here. It was a little tense at times, but we made it through. God's hand is still on him.

My brother and his family are here for the weekend. Crawford, Sam's new cousin, is adorable. I think he has Adam's nose, but Kendall's mouth and cleft in his chin. Whatever the case, he's absolutely adorable.

Here he is in my mother's hands. Sam has taken to calling him "da baby." Adam is officially "Amon," which is especially cute to me because it's what I used to call him when we were little.

Here's an interesting set of pics. The photo on the right is my father when he was not quite a year old. The one on the left was taken when Sam had just turned one. They don't look exactly alike, but at this angle, it seems like their noses are similar. I never noticed they were taken at the same angle, but I had them side by side on my fridge and my mother pointed it out. Don't worry, Gerry Ann, we know Sam takes more after your side of the family. In fact, Adam and my father think Sam looks exactly like Bill's mother, Gerry Ann. But, after looking at these photos, I think I might have had SOME influence on his genes.

The Pics You've Been Waiting For...

Here are the photos you've been waiting for. Excuse the mess. Maybe I'll re-take them when the house is put together. Hopefully it won't matter for our HOMESTUDY UPDATE tomorrow!!!

This is the back of the house. I needed to take this one for our homestudy tomorrow.

This is the view you get when you walk into the house.

If you are standing at the door and look to the left, this is what you will see.

This is the same living room, but looking into the dining area. See my little boy eating his snack?

The messy kitchen.

Those doors in the kitchen lead to this beautiful patio. See my little boy peeking his head out?

We rearranged it a bit, but this is what it looked like when we were sitting down for a meal last week. Notice all the boxes in the background?

Our bedroom upstairs. We need to paint!

This will be Sam's bedroom once the weekend is over. My brother and sister-in-law will be staying in here over the weekend.
This is where Sam is sleeping right now. That chest of drawers and the headboard from the other photo in Sam's room belonged to my granddaddy when he was a child.

This is the view from the stairs to the den (downstairs).

Backwards view.

The sunroom downstairs. We don't have any furniture for it yet, so it's in disarray.

We already tackled one project. Bill and my father replaced the faucet in the kitchen. The other one must have been installed when the house was built in 1985.

They worked really hard.

I don't know how he fit under there.

Sam watering my plants. I finally bought him his own watering can.

Okay, so that's all of the pics from around the house. I hope you like looking at them as much as I am enjoying living in our new home. It's absolutely breathtaking, in my opinion. If I missed any pictures that you want to see, let me know.

My daddy's cousin, Johnny, is a horticulturalist in Lancaster, SC. He gave us a ton of advice about how we should tackle the yard and begin our garden. We're going to plant several varieties of blueberry bushes along the fence line in September. They will compliment the raspberry bushes already there.

Bill and I woke up to cows mooing, turkeys boggling, a rooster crowing and several varieties of birds chirping this morning around 6am. I rolled over and looked at him - his eyes were wide open - and he asked, "do we live on a farm now?" I love it!!

Here are a few bonus shots:

Sam's a big hugger. Elijah came over today and Sam got a chance to hug him while we were outside playing.

Here is Sam giving Elijah a hug at the Bluegrass Festival we went to a couple weeks ago.

到了!

We made it!

I don't have a lot of time, but thought I'd post some pics.
Our new home from the outside corner. You'll get inside pics later.

Sam enjoying a balloon his grandmother stole for him from Lowes Food.

His first fish - we went trout fishing on Saturday with my parents and my daddy's cousin and his daughter (so, my cousins too). Sam was a little grossed out. We smoked them with some applewood off our new apple tree (we have two - plus we have a pear tree). They were delicious!

Sam drew this on the Etcha-sketch and said it was a dog. WOW!

More later.

Sharing the Love

My good friend Renee' gave me an award on her blog yesterday. I was so blessed to receive it. I met Renee' online at babyfit.com. You've heard me talk about babyfit before - the women there have been great supporters of Sam and my family since I joined my Oct '06 group when I was a few weeks preggo. I'm going to actually MEET Renee' in Nashville during the early part of August. I'm super excited.


The woman who invented the award has a baby who had a heart transplant a year ago. She wants to raise awareness of the need for organ donation. It touched my heart to read her story.

Here's what she said:

The rules of this award are: SHARE THE LOVE!!! Share this award with all those blogs out there that you love. All the people who make you smile. All those that make you laugh. All those that make your day. All those that leave uplifting comments on your blog.

I want to share my award with Shannon. She is always faithful to leave me encouraging comments and is a huge supporter of my family. I love you, Shannon. I hope things are going well for you and JoJo the Monkey Boy. You're on my heart a lot lately.

New Shoes and Drawings

Sam got a new pair of sneakers. He grew out of his last shoes too quickly and now he's in a size six, but I have to wonder for how long? He wore his shoes all over the house yesterday and seemed to really love them. They fit his little feet perfectly.


Here he is dancing in them in the bathroom.


And here he is gearing up to jump. They make him run faster and jump higher!

Here's a photo of a picture he drew recently. I have to wonder if anyone else sees a fish? The dots on the left are eyes. He told me it was a fish after he drew it and put the finishing touches on it. I am really desiring to cultivate his drawing ability, but I don't know how - other than to give him crayons, chalk, markers, pens, or whatever and let him draw any time he wants. I have started drawing little animals and faces to show him he can expand his repertoire, but I'm not that good! Give me your opinions.

Great Morning

We had a great morning at the hospital. Little Brian is doing very well, although his bilirubin levels (related to jaundice) are a little higher than they should be. He will remain at the hospital for several more days to make sure he is okay. He's eating very well and was alert while we were there. He's got this adorable little squished nose and looks a lot like his father. I'm going to see about going back tomorrow to take some pictures. They don't have one picture of their new baby.

I think I was pretty useful this morning - at least I felt useful. They speak some English, but it's mostly centered around the restaurant industry. Talking about bilirubin and jaundice takes a totally different set of vocabulary. I translated a lot between the nurse, doctor and this family. I believe they were grateful to have me, but I only hope I did well enough. I had to "dumb" it down a lot, because I didn't know the words for bilirubin and all. I've figured out jaundice and red blood cells though. My Chinese is very rusty!

Keep this family in your prayers. She delivered early due to gestational diabetes. She is a hard-worker and is still going to work, although she's exhausted and taking pain medication. The baby was 9lbs 1 oz when he was born, but his liver is still under-developed.

In other news, Sam has now slept through the night for the last 10 days. It's the first time that he's ever done this so consistently. We are getting more sleep than we've gotten since before he was born.

We will close on our house next Tuesday, July 15th at 2pm. I assume that from that day on, Sam will have a difficult time sleeping again, but until then - I'm enjoying it!

My New Friend

Bill and I have made friends with the owners of a Chinese restaurant in town. The woman, Jackie, was 8 months pregnant when we saw her last week. I saw her this afternoon for lunch and she is no longer pregnant. She said she gave birth a month early on July 2nd. The baby is at the hospital still and is jaundiced. I don't know how well he is doing yet, but I plan to go over to the hospital with them tomorrow morning at 8am. I will have to bring Sam with me, as I don't have a babysitter, but it shouldn't be a problem.

I don't think they were ready for this baby to come so early. I'm going to run by Wal Mart this afternoon and pick up some clothes and toys for him. Hopefully I can judge the situation a bit more tomorrow when I see him. Pray for this family, please. They've named the baby Brian.

Recap and New Menu

The Fourth kept us super busy. It was absolutely wonderful and we felt so patriotic. Last year was our first Fourth home in many years and we spent it inside watching fireworks on TV. We were so disappointed. We challenged ourselves to do better this year, and BOY did we!



The morning began with our First Annual Fabulous Fourth Breakfast (or some name like that). There are so many new folks at Samaritan's Purse, that all of us got together to start a new tradition (based on our friend's Adam and Laura's family tradition back home). A big pancake breakfast at 8:30am. I made my homemade breakfast sausage and cooked it on their grill, along with some bacon.







Sidenote: the breakfast sausage is an incredibly delicious recipe - and you can make it lower in fat if you want. I did some turkey and some pork (the pork tastes better). But, you can buy leaner pork to help with the fat intake.



Adam did the pancakes, which were delicious too. As you can see, we were at a park.


Some folks played Frisbee.



I wasn't paying attention at the time, but this photo tells me Adam did the eggs too. They were great as well.


We had a huge spread! The kids were itching to eat.

This is Sam's friend Ethan on the right. Sometimes Sam likes to throw things at Ethan's face and I'm not sure why. For the most part, they play nicely together.

And this is Ethan's Daddy, Jason, and his little brother Elliott. Elliott is a little clone of Jason, in my opinion.


Back to my menu. Our menu from week to week rarely sticks to what I plan every night. Usually, one night gets pushed back so we can do something different. I keep lots of meat in the freezer, so I can thaw it and make whatever we are craving at the last minute.




Last week's menu changed on July 4th. We wanted to go to Tweetsie to see their big fireworks display. We were invited by some of the High Country Mommies to tailgate with them (see above picture) and took them up on the opportunity. That night, I brought some Italian sausage I had in the freezer, some zucchini and yellow squash with cilantro and sea salt and marinated red onions (in olive oil and balsamic vinegar) to grill. It was absolutely delicious AND we had a ton of fun meeting new friends. I can't believe how easy it is to make friends here. I meet someone every week and I love it. Once we get a little settled in the new house, maybe we can have a cookout to welcome everyone into our lives.




Here's our new friend Melanie with her grill that she graciously let us use too.

So, we never did get around to making the Benihana chicken. We'll do that tonight - we ate the turkey burgers for dinner last night and finished them off. They were so good.

Here's our menu for this week:

Monday

Benihana Meal (see last Monday's post for recipe)

Tuesday

Provide meal for Matt and others (moving into new home)

Casserole??? I'm not a casserole person - but if you have any

suggestions, let me know!

Wednesday

Nathan's Beef Hot Dogs

Whole Wheat Buns

Squash - baked at 425F for 20 minutes with olive oil and sea salt

Thursday

Leftover Benihana

Friday

BBQ Chicken (chicken pieces or breast with BBQ sauce

poured over and baked at 375F for about an hour)

Okra (frozen - cooked in lightly oiled pan)

Salad

Saturday

Leftover Hot Dogs

Chips and Salsa

Sunday

Leftover BBQ Chicken over Salad or on sandwiches

One last note on the Fourth. I am always struck, every year, by how emotional I feel on Independence Day. We have such freedom here in the US. My thoughts, this year, were drawn back to my friends in East Asia who worship behind closed doors and take a chance every day by sharing their faith in Jesus with others.

I am challenged by them to share my faith here - because the worst that could happen is that I could be looked down upon or even lose a friend. That is nothing compared to having the water cut off to your farm or your electric box smashed in at your home - or even being arrested and beaten or worse, your family being threatened while you are in prison and can do nothing to help.

If you are reading this and are a Christian, please take advantage or your freedom where ever you are and share your faith in Jesus with someone this week. If you are not a Christian, let me briefly tell you what you are missing: Eternal life, forgiveness of your sins, love of a Savior and fellowship with God. Please follow the link on my sidebar entitled "Eternal Life" to learn more about becoming a Christian, or, better yet, write me or call me and ask me how you can have Eternal Life! My life will never be the same, and though it is difficult at times, I know I am a better person for believing in Jesus Christ.

Have a great week!

Funny Fourth

I don't have time to upload all of our wonderful photos from yesterday's celebration, so I'll just leave you with one for now. This was from the parade and I believe it depicts Boone's character in so many ways.

I'll upload more later and tell you about our incredible day, that began at 7am and ended at 11:30pm.

Tummy Time

Sam and I have been so incredibly busy this week. I think I've forgotten something at the house every single day.

Sam is really gung-ho about coloring now. He draws things that he tells me are fish (sometimes they sort of resemble fish) and yesterday drew a circle and said he was putting "eyes" in it. I thought maybe it was a face. He finds that he can be most coordinated while laying on his belly and coloring.

Bill took this photo today. There's chalk all over Sam's clothes by the end of everyday. Not to mention, chalk on all the windows, fridge, dishwasher and stove. Even the TV has some. Today I found my pseudo-coffee table had something drawn in chalk on it. Mostly it's circles, but sometimes there are long lines. Yesterday he drew a long line and told me it was a bee. I really need to cultivate this, I know, but I'm not sure how - except to keep him exposed to lots of different coloring tools.

You may remember in one of my previous posts, Sam was standing on a kitchen chair to color in his coloring book on the table. I am really really nervous about him falling out of the chair by standing up or kicking the table or something. So, I keep the chairs pushed into the table in order to keep him out of them.

While I was preparing dinner tonight, I heard Sam say, "help" from the other room. I came in and this is what I found:

He had crawled up between the chairs and gotten stuck.

Don't let this sad face fool you - he's faking.

This was his face not one second later. Bill had to come help me get him out. I was laughing so hard and I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out how to finagle him out.

He's too much fun sometimes!